Prince Harry Reveals He “Didn’t Want” to be Royal Because “It Killed My Mum”

Prince Harry Reveals He “Didn’t Want” to be Royal Because “It Killed My Mum”

As Prince Harry and Meghan Markle’strip of Australia continues, the Duke of Sussex gave a nearly 20-minute long address at a conference in Melbourne.

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At the InterEdge Summit event, Prince Harry delivered the keynote address andspoke aboutmental health and grief. “When I was invited to speak at this summit, I wasn’t sure whether I was expected to speak as someone who, despite everything, has their shit together. Or as someone who, despite what it may look like, actually doesn’t have his shit together,” Harry said. “But I was struck by something quite simple — that while my experiences may be unusual, the feelings that come with them are not.”

He spoke about the loss of his mother,Princess Diana, who died after a car crash in Paris in August 1997. “In my experience, loss is disorienting at any age. Grief does not disappear because we ignore it. Experiencing that as a kid while in a goldfish bowl under constant surveillance, yes, that will have its challenges. And without purpose, it can break you,” he said.

Harry continued, “There have been many times when I’ve felt overwhelmed. Times when I’ve felt lost, betrayed, or completely powerless. Times when the pressure—externally and internally—felt constant. And times when, despite everything going on, I still had to show up pretending everything was okay, so as not to let anyone down. For many years I was numb to it, and perhaps that was easier then, but I also didn’t yet have the tools to deal with it.”

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Following the address, he was in conversation with Australian business leader Brendan Nelson, and expanded further on his comments about his late mother. As he struggled with her death, he told Nelson, he rejected his royal role.

“I was like, ‘I don’t want this job. I don’t want this role—wherever this is headed, I don’t like it,’” Harry said. “It killed my mum and I was very much against it, and I stuck my head in the sand for years and years. Eventually I realized, well, hang on, if there was somebody else in this position, how would they be making the most of this platform and this ability and the resources that come with it to make a difference in the world? And also, what would my mum want me to do? And that really changed my own perspective.”

Prince Harry and Meghan’s Australia visit continues tomorrow in Sydney.

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